Absence

The destigmatization of mental health is a hugely important issue for me, and when I feel I have it in me I like to share both my struggles and my triumphs. My hope is that it will help that cause in some way or even just help one person through their own struggles.


My anxiety had been building for quite a while and to be honest it’s still pretty terrible. I am working with both a doctor and a therapist in all this, but I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t exhausting. My depression was getting to a pretty good place for a while there since I had upped the meds for it, but for the past several weeks out of nowhere it just tanked. Frustration is an understatement but it’s the best word I’ve got right now.

Starting last week I finally started getting a bit of a foothold, I’m not quite fully out of the hole I fell into but the ladder seems to be holding. When the spiral starts I go through what I’ve come top call “hermit-ing”. I pull away from people, projects, even taking care of myself. I’ve started to come back and I appreciate the patience that others have shown me.

  • Posts here will start being a little more frequent, this creative outlet tends to be therapeutic for me.
  • Even at my lowest when I’m neglecting myself I can pull through for my pets. I’ve had a lot of snuggle time with my cats and I recently upgraded my fishies to a new tank. Snuggling with my cat helps me ground and I get some anxiety relief watching the fish.
  • My job is a huge source of stress and anxiety now, I have started studying to become a data analyst. It will take time I’m self teaching via various online resources but feeling like having a job I don’t hate and more financial security can actually be reality has been huge.

I’m sure I’ll have more ups and downs in the future, I always do. For now, I’m feeling more and more on my feet with each day.

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